So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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