worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
