But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
