we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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