Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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