I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
