In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it because I queefed?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize