I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
