so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize