I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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