Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
