It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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