He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
