yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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