So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
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