We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
