On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
