AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
