p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize