I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
