the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
