He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
