theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
