Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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