Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
