so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
