I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
