I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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