shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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