I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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