I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
