My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
