'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
