yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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