You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
