"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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