oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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