it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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