If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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