"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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