All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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