Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
