She announced her abortion via fbk
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
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