i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize