covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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