Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
