Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
