dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
