i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
