life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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