i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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