Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
