I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
