You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
