Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Panties = found
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
