i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
