Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
