Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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