how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
