I smell stomach acid.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
