....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
