I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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