hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
