All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
