I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
