just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
