She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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