Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
