Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Randomize
