Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
