so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
