We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
