I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
