He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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