how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
