I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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